Me wearing Luli Fama one-piece swimsuit
Natalie wearing Aerie bikini
In the world through which I travel I am endlessly creating myself.
Last light after one fine day in Costa Rica when time slowed down the most and every second of it was felt. Each second lingered. The sky changing personalities in the span of twenty minutes as much as we change in a lifetime. In reality, that twenty minutes goes by in a flash, but in our bones it feels like it lasts for a whole generation. It’s as if our pasts, presents and futures are painted in those skies. Maybe we can find parts of us we didn’t know before in those sunset skies.
I’m back to my natural hair color, but I do very much miss my bold fiery hair strobe courtesy of Matrix. Who knows, maybe someday soon I’ll go back to it once again. I’ll wait and see what my mood tells me. I’m glad I experimented and embraced the red head life for a little bit. It was exactly what I needed at the time 🙂
Fresh off the plane from Costa Rica and back in my original jungle. It felt a bit weird to step off a plane directly into an uber heading the way home after spending a week in a jungle so different from where I came from. But man was it refreshing. I didn’t realize how much my body was quenching for the “Pura Vida” lifestyle of Costa Rica until I actually got there. We spent the first half on Peninsula Papagayo at the Four Seasons Resort Costa Rica, and then the second half in La Fortuna at Nayara Springs. The air was warm and heavy as it settled onto my skin as soon as I stepped off the plane . . . an instantaneous comfort blanket that lullabied me to sleep at night. The buzzing of cicadas at night and the signing of birds and flowing water in the morning. The fresh ocean water sprinkled across my face mixed in with me perspiration . . . that was my makeup for my long and slow days in Costa Rica. I liked the way it felt to have nature on my body. Just as much as I liked the way it felt to have nature below my feet. And all around me. As soon as the sun rose and far after it set, I didn’t once not pay respect to the beauty of this wonderful country with charming people who had wide smiles and sparkling eyes that carried a love for their homeland. Why leave Costa Rica when everything they ever need is there? Volcanoes in the distance are reminders of the magic happening below our peaceful soles. A daily forecast that is both unexpected and adventurous, broken up by heavy rain showers that add to the lush sensibility and physicality of this country. One must love adventure to love Costa Rica, and I am more than fine with that. I went outside my comfort zone during this trip, and what was scary before to me is now a part of me. The adrenaline rush that I got after flying fast above treetops is something I already feel myself craving. The way the surfboard slip from under my feet. The way endless feet of ocean moved beneath my legs as I swam to shore. I welcomed all of these unexpected things on this trip. I embraced the slowness of a life that moves like heated air but that can be shaken up by the waves at any instant. I could get used to that kind of balanced life.
New treks in old Brooklyn neighborhoods on a weekday. Rain or shine. The streets so quaint and quiet that you can almost hear your own thoughts aloud. The sky seeming just about to burst with rain, but with sunlight bursting through in some spots. It just can’t seem to make up its mind. But that’s totally okay. I don’t have an umbrella, but at least I have my raincoat. Practical in nearly every situation. I’m happy about it. And I just realized that I’ve been happy about quite a lot of things lately.
Funny how feelings like this hit you all at once, and you stand back and take it all in and you let out a wooowwwww sort of breathe of air. That’s the kind of happy that I’ve been having lately. 2016 I knew was going to be something special. I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly, but deep down in my gut I felt like very good and unexpected things were meant to happen this year. And already they have happened. Some bad things have happened this year, but for very, very good reasons I now see. I was blind for a little bit to things, closed off for quite a while, non trusting, maybe even a little less motivated than I used to be. But now things are taking a very forceful turn in the other direction. I feel open as the biggest door overlooking the largest plain. I feel free as the strongest wind. Warm as the closest sun. I feel loved. Or simply put, I just feel very, very happy. Work has been flourishing, I’m better at organizing my days and months but nothing feels too forced or non-spontaneous. Actually, the best things that have happened this year have been the most spontaneous. Mind-blowingly spontaneous. I’ve been keeping the people I connect with the most the closest to me. Cutting ties with those who make me feel down. That has made all the difference. My body feels nourished and strong and lean. It feels ready for the summer to come, yet it also doesn’t feel denied of anything at all. There’s a boy I really like, and I’m letting him like me and I’m letting myself like him, and you have no idea how good that feels. How good to not have to wonder as much anymore and to really take the whole “go with the flow” thing to heart. The weather is going in a positive direction, just like my mood. And I want to hold onto it forever. Adventure is always on the horizon, and every new destination doesn’t seem impossible. Actually, it seems like the un-impossible is quite possible nowadays. I’ve learned that when things are good, don’t find reasons to overshadow them with something negative. There shouldn’t be too much room left for dark things to roll in and steal the day. Focus on just what is good, and let that inspire the rest. Literally, roll with the homies, and you’ve got the whole world in a bag my darlings. The whole world. And that’s the honest truth.