From the Corner I Stand

May 26, 2016

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Stutterheim raincoat
Citizens of Humanity jeans
Coach shoes
Jerome Bocchio purse
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New treks in old Brooklyn neighborhoods on a weekday. Rain or shine. The streets so quaint and quiet that you can almost hear your own thoughts aloud. The sky seeming just about to burst with rain, but with sunlight bursting through in some spots. It just can’t seem to make up its mind. But that’s totally okay. I don’t have an umbrella, but at least I have my raincoat. Practical in nearly every situation. I’m happy about it. And I just realized that I’ve been happy about quite a lot of things lately.

Funny how feelings like this hit you all at once, and you stand back and take it all in and you let out a wooowwwww sort of breathe of air. That’s the kind of happy that I’ve been having lately. 2016 I knew was going to be something special. I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly, but deep down in my gut I felt like very good and unexpected things were meant to happen this year. And already they have happened. Some bad things have happened this year, but for very, very good reasons I now see. I was blind for a little bit to things, closed off for quite a while, non trusting, maybe even a little less motivated than I used to be. But now things are taking a very forceful turn in the other direction. I feel open as the biggest door overlooking the largest plain. I feel free as the strongest wind. Warm as the closest sun. I feel loved. Or simply put, I just feel very, very happy. Work has been flourishing, I’m better at organizing my days and months but nothing feels too forced or non-spontaneous. Actually, the best things that have happened this year have been the most spontaneous. Mind-blowingly spontaneous. I’ve been keeping the people I connect with the most the closest to me. Cutting ties with those who make me feel down. That has made all the difference. My body feels nourished and strong and lean. It feels ready for the summer to come, yet it also doesn’t feel denied of anything at all. There’s a boy I really like, and I’m letting him like me and I’m letting myself like him, and you have no idea how good that feels. How good to not have to wonder as much anymore and to really take the whole “go with the flow” thing to heart. The weather is going in a positive direction, just like my mood. And I want to hold onto it forever. Adventure is always on the horizon, and every new destination doesn’t seem impossible. Actually, it seems like the un-impossible is quite possible nowadays. I’ve learned that when things are good, don’t find reasons to overshadow them with something negative. There shouldn’t be too much room left for dark things to roll in and steal the day. Focus on just what is good, and let that inspire the rest. Literally, roll with the homies, and you’ve got the whole world in a bag my darlings. The whole world. And that’s the honest truth.

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