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Inspiration

Extraordinary, Like Poetry

July 26, 2016

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“Don’t ever say you are an ordinary person having no attractive personality. Remember that Poetries is written in black, and still it possesses the power to fill our hearts with its millions of color.” – found quote

Summer, I have found, brings to life the ordinary. A weekend of secluded swimming holes, hikes with no end in sight, wine on the hammock, crossing streams in flip flops, vegan pasta in Woodstock, the sound of waterfalls from our right side or maybe our left (it’s hard to tell), listening to Britney Spears in the car, deer running alongside us wondering what we are, heavy sleeps in our simple little cabin, banana pancakes, mosquito bites on our faces that swell up ten times. It all felt extraordinary.

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** Photos by Gabriel Honzik

23 comments

Finding Peace With Where I’m At

July 7, 2016

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Innika Choo smocked blouse
Siwy jeans
Vintage belt
DRESSHIRT silk neck scarf
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I love being a New Yorker, but there are a few things that make it quite a rough task. It’s that feeling of never ever fully winning. That a job is never done unless it’s perfect. When we know deep down inside that perfect doesn’t really exist even though we want it to so dearly. At least with things in respect to ourselves. Why is it so hard for us to say out loud that we deserve a pat on the back? Or deserve a break? Even if it’s just for 5 minutes. Why do we beat ourselves up so hard about things? And why do we judge others just as hard or harder than we judge ourselves? To make us feel better about ourselves? It goes for so many aspects of our city centric lives. Our careers. Our dating lives. Those we bring into our social circles. And those we make sure to keep out. How we view ourselves in the mirror. How we overanalyze situations to the point that they crumble. How we compare ourselves to this person and that person and those people. These feelings, they can be fleeting, but they are a part of a cycle that repeats over and over again. A strive for perfection that seems manageable but in reality is more than unreasonable a lot of the times. Add the subway at rush hour, highly egotistical people in our faces for 85% of the day, rent, the annoying dude at your subway stop that keeps purposefully breaking the subway card machine and making you an extra 10 minutes late every single time, transportation delays, loud tourists, overpriced fruit at the bodega, and a whole lot more things that go along with big city living. Well these things can keep us high strung, and in no mood to find peace with ourselves, nor anything around us. It’s not a healthy relationship.

How did I find a way to break the mold of the typical go, go, go, one track minded New Yorker that is endlessly looking for the next best thing?

Well, I stopped looking for the next best thing all the damn time. I made a commitment to slow things down by telling myself that is what I had to do to keep from getting jaded. I took notice when my stress levels went up, or when my mood was more aggressive or the world seemed much more near the end over the tiniest of things (all feelings that are so unnecessary), and it was these days that I tried to find new ways to take a few steps back as everyone and everything seemed to rush, rush, rush. I stopped comparing myself so much to other people (even though I catch myself sometimes still doing so, and I quickly snap myself out of that funk). I stopped being impatient (I even tried smiling when the people in front of me were too slow). Instead of swearing at the heat and crowdedness of the subway, I embraced the extra time I got to listen to my music and turned it up, up, up. I started to look at the sky more, and the details of the buildings, and the faces of interesting looking people. Soon, I felt like I began to enjoy things so much more and in a much better way. I always got my job done, but in this new way the process felt sweeter and more long-lived. Just because I live in NYC, doesn’t mean I always have to keep up at it’s pace. This decision was also what saved me my sanity. And in NYC, that is a lot to say. It was all baby steps, don’t get me wrong. And there are still days when I want to kick and punch something because this city gets me so annoyed sometimes, but I know I wouldn’t and couldn’t be anywhere else right now. And that’s because I’m doing the city on my own terms. It can be done. Just take a second, look around you and find the things you love and that inspire you to love. And then take a few more seconds, or minutes or hours contemplating these things. It’s the best way to make time slow down in this city, and it won’t drive you as mad, I promise. There are more gems than pieces of junk, although it seems the opposite a lot of times. But our minds can have a good way of turning things all around to the way we want them to be when we really need it. And thank goodness for that. If you ever find yourself falling into a rut, feeling low or just straight up fed up, you can also just imagine yourself running in a field of flowers. It’s a magical remedy.

For me, right now, the greatest feeling is one of content, but still with a calm and steady eagerness to grow and create. How about yours?

*** Images shot in Squamish, British Columbia

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36 comments

Bonnaroo | The Immortal Love of Sun and Music

June 23, 2016

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There were many things I took away from our trip to Tennessee for Bonnaroo. But there were two that really stuck out to me. The fact that everyone looks good with sunshine on their faces. And the second fact that everyone looks good with music glistening onto their souls. Sunshine and music. They are two things that will love of us unconditionally forever, as we over time will come to love them in the exact same way. Two things we find all around us in the summertime, but that we can sometimes overlook unless we take a second or two to really stop and notice. To feel it being caressed onto our skin and massaged into our brains, signaling things that science can only really explain in the deepest of detail but that our hearts need only a few faster than normal fluttering beats to express. The heat and the vibrations. The way they make us feel the moment they hit us. They way they soak into us and wash over us in a way that is always reliable and always constant. No matter how many times we’ve felt it. No matter how many times we’ve heard it. No matter how many times we’ve danced under the same song and under the same old hot as heck sun, we take comfort in the good feeling they give us and the dreams they instill in us. The way they make us feel better and stronger in the first few seconds. How they give us confidence as if we’ve had years of practice in self-worth. They give us so many good things and we don’t even really need to understand why. We don’t need to understand all the characters all our favorite songs make us want to be. We don’t need to understand the chemical reaction that happen between the moment the sun hits the skin and the first bead of sweat is created to cool us down. We just need to let it be and to enjoy it. When you are feeling lacking in something, know that the sun and the music is always there to make you feel like the strongest beaming light. The music and the sun will bring you back to life again. It is an immortal love that we humans will never have to lose trust in. Together they make something that it is our best friend. Something to share with our best friends. And for those two things that summer brings a plethora of, I am grateful. And because I am grateful, I will dance. Nashville, you had a whole lot of both, and for that I think you are really, really fab. Even with all the cheesy country music and cowboy boots and fried this and fried that. I find peace in the chaos of what makes you come alive. It’s as simple as appreciating all that. But first we must appreciate the sun and the music. And hopefully, all the other things come swinging on in just as easily.

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Dare to be Yourself

May 2, 2016

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Haute Hippie tank and beaded skirt
Jerome Boccio leather purse
Wildfox sunglasses
Sabrina SL handlet
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“She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself.” – Anaïs Nin

Smart words by Anaïs Nin on the ways of the kind of woman that she strives NOT to be. These submissive qualities stand out even more in this quote because she focuses purely on what is negative in her eyes . . . a woman who is unable to be the creator of her own confidence and sense of self. A woman like this is always seeking for approval by others. A reinforcement from outside forces that she is worthy of being. When she looks in the mirror, she only hears the judgements of others and that is what guides her. In this way, she is not herself at all. No she is a creation of other’s imaginations. Molded to be conceived in a flattering light because in her own head her imperfections are what need to be hidden. Really, those imperfections are who she is at the core. And because she has lost her sense of self love (or maybe she never had it all), she becomes a puppet. And being that puppet is Anaïs’ greatest fear.

We can learn a lot from this bold, bold woman with a lot on her mind and not a single filter. I’ve always been inspired by her way of writing that is like one big stream of consciousness, and I fully appreciate the honesty that she always exposed through her words. She might be an extreme case in the history of women in literature, but sometimes we need extreme examples to shake us into realizing what is important to us as human beings, and even more importantly, as women. Anaïs’ words have definitely made marks on me growing up, and especially during times when I started second guessing myself and holding myself back in fear of failure or critique. Even during times when didn’t feel too confident in my own skin, from thinking too much about my lanky height to my far from perfect nose. Back then, I felt there was always so much more to lose when it came to being myself and maybe not being perfect, or taking chances or putting myself in the spotlight (even for just a minute) because of fear of being rejected or not up to par. My perspective on things in these sort of situations are quite the opposite now because I have finally come to realize that there really is nothing to lose when you are just being yourself. Yourself is the greatest thing you can ever lose. And that is something Anaïs strongly strands by with all her heart. Now how about you all strongly stand by it, too 🙂

Place your own judgements on the highest pedestal.

Tell yourself you are beautiful and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Embrace your imperfection and funny quirks that make you unique. Uniqueness is your greatest strength.

Drink well with others. But don’t try to fit in.

Wear as many beads and sequins as you want on your skirt. Never allow anyone to dim your shine.

A little Monday inspiration ya’ll.

xo

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