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Cool Runnings

January 30, 2017


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Kristinit blouse
AG The Yvette jeans // SHOP HERE
Ouigal boots
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I seem to be on the run far often than not nowadays. Not from things, but to things. But I guess that is the better way to do things. Going after the things you want (while taking into mind what you also need), now that’s a really special thing. The top of the list of emotional priorities for many of us. Or at least, it should be. But sometimes the running never seems to stop. Isn’t the whole point of running after these things one after another supposed to conclude with one last major run towards that end goal, whatever that may be? Some people live their entire existence based on the fact that they have pinpointed down that one major goal, and that’s it. That’s when they’ve made it. That’s when they can stop running. Me? I don’t know what the heck that is. Maybe I’m just running in circles around it, I wouldn’t even have an idea. But for some reason, it doesn’t scare me to know that. It doesn’t scare me that my future may be up in the air, meant to be dealt with in the spur of the moment. The little goals, the little runs along the way, are the most meaningful part of the entire process as a matter of fact. Do any of you guys feel this way? It makes me feel free in a sense . . . not stuck to a plan . . . not trapped by an idea of what my entire life is meant to be way far ahead of myself. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in plans truly, but I also believe that they shouldn’t be the end all, say all driving the motivational force behind our existence. 

This denim on my legs, it has no idea where my legs will be taking it next. Sometimes I have no idea where’ll be in the next week, or the next two days. But no matter what, I always feel calm and fulfilled whichever outcome I find myself in. Making the most of current moments is something I’ve learned a lot about these past few years working for myself and on this blog, and living on my own as an adult in a city that is actually built on spontaneity. I’ve learned that nothing can ever be predetermined down to the tiniest dot of detail. Even though there have been many situations where I found myself thinking too hard of what the future will look like (even today I do this). But then I remind myself that the future can’t be, and shouldn’t be, so fixed in our minds. If it was, we would be puppets in a way, but we wouldn’t be our own masters. I just decided to be a master to the moments. Right here, right now, is unbelievably promising if you really stop to look at it. 

Shop more AG crop jeans that I love:

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Little Spec, Loud Voice

January 20, 2017

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Majorelle dress
UNIQLO turtleneck
Salvatore Ferragamo purse
DKNY tights
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Today will mark one of the most mind boggling days of the new year so far I am sure. Today we have a new president, and for many of us, this sad but historical moment means that a lot of our futures are starting to feel uncertain. A lot that we have believed in and worked towards as individuals, as community members, as a group of human beings on this earth these past few years . . . our entire lives . . . have the potential to be uprooted and thrown off track. Who would have thought that in the year 2017, after decades of learning from history’s massive failures and milestones, all could be reversed? It’s a very scary feeling. An out of control sort of feeling. Looking back on my own personal milestones this past year, I feel lit up. It was a year so unique and so close to my heart, it’s hard to explain. It was a tough year as much as it was a very great year. A beautifully emotional one that can almost be described as life changing in a way. It was personally inspiring, and I felt like I grew tenfold as a human but still with so much to learn. And I closed out the year with an even bigger hunger to learn than ever before. And by learning, I mean by looking around me more and more. And when I look at the state of the world today, I know that we all obviously still have a lot to do. And it makes me think about how my day to day actions, however small or big that they may be, can in their own ways make a difference.

In today’s day and age, one that is overtaken by numbers and the masses, it’s easy to feel small. To feel lost. To feel like just a spec in the rat race . . . but working towards what? Working towards having a man like Trump as our president? No, I don’t think so. We may from afar seem like a bunch of tiny specs, but we each have a voice, and together that voice is as loud as can be. And with social media, it’s amplified even louder. There are people listening. And it can be only one or two people. But that’s enough to make a difference. And thinking about this makes me reflect on someone like our former president Obama. A man I have respected his entire two terms. A man of pure kindness, understanding and forward looking compassion. He is all encompassing, multi cultural and relatable, and in his words we were able to hear and see and feel parts of ourselves in him. And we still do. Because we believed in him and what he stood for. And he truly stood for us, each individual of this country and beyond. He is a reminder that we are not all just specs. We are specs that have a voice. And that voice is our strength, and its power is bigger than any president elect. However big or small our voices are individually, there is always the potential to reach and touch someone . . . to make a change here and there. Every little change, every little bit of understanding, matters. And in times like these, we have to hold onto this fact. 

So I am here to make a promise to myself to try to make a difference by taking notice of my actions. The words I speak. The sentences I write. The way I exchange a smile in passing. The interest I show in new people I meet. The time I take to notice how my body really feels more often than not. How I show my unconditional love for my family and friends. The way I stop to lend a hand or ear or shoulder to lean on. It may be hard to think we can inject passion and love and energy into every little thing we do, but with just a change of mindset it’s actually much easier than you think. And even if it starts with one small change, that’s okay, too. This new year is white as snow, Trump or no Trump, and it can turn into anything we want to make it as long as we know that we have a voice. And even when you think you aren’t being heard, know that that is never reason enough to give up.

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Cliffside

January 13, 2017


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Carolina K kimono dress
AG Jeans waxed skinny jeans
By Far boots
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These past week has just flown by like no other! I’m surprised that I’m still in one piece at this point! My late nights catching up on work turned into mornings far too quickly. Maybe it’s the jet lag, but come one . . . the difference between Los Angeles and NYC isn’t thaaaaaat much. I came back from a lazy west coast life without a chance to ease into the NYC grind once again, and the deadlines are overwhelming me just a bit. The days just don’t seem long enough. And it’s only been a week, and already I feel like I need a vacation. But then again I’m heading back to Los Angeles for most of next week for work, and well, the coordinating of my life has been quite hectic. I’m always trying to fuel my creativity, read things and watch things and do things that make me feel inspired so I can keep creating the type of content that inspires others, see my friends, talk to my family back home . . . and then all of a sudden, I stop and think woah, it’s past midnight. The relaxed vibes one supposedly gets after a visit from Cali went straight out the window as soon as I landed back in NYC. Not too hard to imagine for those who live in this city and understand its pace. My to-do list for this year (not to mention this month) is insane, and I’m working on editing it down to something at least semi-reasonable. So it makes me start to ponder all sorts of different things . . . sometimes jumping out a window (just kidding), or jumping off this cliff featured in these photos (kidding once again), just curling up into a black hole over the weekend and not returning the calls of any of my friends, or just giving into my frustrations and giving up (but no, I would actually never do that).

So here’s the question I know we all are asking. How do we keep our cool when work seems to never end? This question in particular is a very hard one for a blogger to answer because for us, work and real life overlap a ton. It’s inescapable, that feeling of 24/7 being on duty. In a way, for us, life itself is the focus of our work. Or at least the creating of a perspective of life, if that makes more sense. Sometimes I ask myself, where should the line be drawn? But it’s hard sometimes to even draw a line because I enjoy what I do so much. Taking photos of things in my own personal life; I feel the need to share them with others because of the beautiful feeling they give me. Sharing my outfits on the internet started as a hobby to help me feel more inspired with the way I dress. Although it is now a job that I fully support myself with, in a way it still it feels like a hobby. But when things start piling up, and every detail is overanalyzed, everything has the potential to feel a bit too much like work. And that’s when the magic is lost. I want to share things that I am passionate about and that will inspire others. But at the same time, there come opportunities where it feels more like a business deal, and being organic can be a struggle. But that just means being more creative. I’ve come to learn that there are some sacrifices one must make to support a business. Now I see it as less of a struggle, and more of a challenge. It’s hard striking a balance, that’s for sure. Some days I wish social media was totally on my back burner, and then there are some days I can go go go, post post post. Energies fluctuate, and especially so with those who share things online. It’s because what we do can be so personal. And I think that that exactly is the answer to the question. To know where to draw the line when the division between digital and IRL become too blurry. To stand back to gain a little more perspective on the bigger picture of the life that isn’t always in front of the lens. 

Let this post serve as a reminder to focus on what is right there in front of you as much as I can, even when the digital screen can be a tempting distraction. The last thing you want is your life to turn into Episode 1, Season 3 of Black Mirror (watch it on Netflix, it’s super relatable to today’s digital age world!!!). I felt it paralleled so much of reality, especially for someone like me. As a blogger, it’s hard to not let things like numbers, likes, comments, and comparisons affect me. I fall into the gimic of it every once in a while. It’s inevitable. It doesn’t always make me feel like the best person, and so I place my focus elsewhere. Onto things and people who made me get into this from the get go. I have found that the best way for me to express myself  most truly on this digital space is to live things fully in the real world. To give you all something more than just a pretty picture. To tell better, heartfelt stories. And that is my goal for 2017, to get better at telling stories that you want to listen to. My boyfriend actually is inspiring me to do that. Let’s see how that goes . . . 


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Stop Dragon My Heart Around

January 6, 2017

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Suburban Riot jacket
525 America
 sweater
Kenzo pants
Vintage purse
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“Stop Dragon My Heart Around.” True that. As one who is approaching her 30’s (cringe!!!), this creative twist on a saying hits home hard. I’m haven’t gotten my dirty thirty juuuust yet, but I can say that I have in fact survived my 20’s. And let me tell you, that ride through one’s twenties (I’m sure many of you have already found this out), is far from smooth sailing. Being in your twenties is supposed to be a whole lot of your heart being dragged around, and my jacket is fully putting it out there that I no longer want or need those experiences. The best thing about maturing as an adult, is finding where to cut the crap. Getting rid of the insignificant fat (and that goes for the diet, too). Saying bye bye to the stuff that always looked down on you when you already felt small. 

Those bumps. Those bad boyfriends. The back stabbing friends. The frustrating bosses and the horrifying co-workers born to make your life feel below miserable. The apartment that never stops leaking. And the roommate who never gives you space. The endless feeling of being lost and insignificant and unrooted and just never, ever good enough. We can officially throw these things and these emotions all into the armful of things that come with the twenties territory. But these things. These people. Those unconfident thoughts that eat away at us. They all take a back bone to really, truly be pushed away. And that’s what our twenties are for. For feeling hurt. For feeling screwed. For feeling like the last kid chosen at a stupid game of ball. And then getting back up again knowing that we don’t need to take any of that anymore, as long as we believe in that and stand for that. Yes, most likely the same falls can and will be repeated more than once, twice, three times, but that’s okay. We’re cushiony. We bounce back. The scabs look a bit icky, but they just make us tougher. And what I finally realized, as I approached my later twenties . . . the one thing that got me so exhausted and tired . . . was the fact that all I wanted was to stop being dragged around. By people who thought they knew me but actually didn’t. By people who sought to judge too quick. By people who don’t understand or try to understand how a two-sided friendship works. By people who never tried to really dig beneath the surface. By men who kept me hanging and diminished my self worth. By people and things that felt empty. By my own thoughts that caused me to second guessed myself. Those moments are always the worst. Being one’s own enemy can at times be the easiest thing to do as a twenty year old. That I see very clear right now. And it took time to learn to do exactly the opposite. 

The best thing that I realized in my late twenties, was that it is impossible to make everybody happy. And that no one else can determine your happiness. And that when I stopped trying to only please others all the time, I felt a weight off my shoulder. I felt less dragged around. Instead, I felt more confident and aware. And my heart felt safer and smarter, and in need of being surrounded by those who were genuine. Here’s to 2017. And here’s to getting older. Here’s to no longer being dragged (dragonned) around. And here’s to finally just starting to get the hang of this thing called life. 

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