Little Spec, Loud Voice

January 20, 2017

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Majorelle dress
UNIQLO turtleneck
Salvatore Ferragamo purse
DKNY tights
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Today will mark one of the most mind boggling days of the new year so far I am sure. Today we have a new president, and for many of us, this sad but historical moment means that a lot of our futures are starting to feel uncertain. A lot that we have believed in and worked towards as individuals, as community members, as a group of human beings on this earth these past few years . . . our entire lives . . . have the potential to be uprooted and thrown off track. Who would have thought that in the year 2017, after decades of learning from history’s massive failures and milestones, all could be reversed? It’s a very scary feeling. An out of control sort of feeling. Looking back on my own personal milestones this past year, I feel lit up. It was a year so unique and so close to my heart, it’s hard to explain. It was a tough year as much as it was a very great year. A beautifully emotional one that can almost be described as life changing in a way. It was personally inspiring, and I felt like I grew tenfold as a human but still with so much to learn. And I closed out the year with an even bigger hunger to learn than ever before. And by learning, I mean by looking around me more and more. And when I look at the state of the world today, I know that we all obviously still have a lot to do. And it makes me think about how my day to day actions, however small or big that they may be, can in their own ways make a difference.

In today’s day and age, one that is overtaken by numbers and the masses, it’s easy to feel small. To feel lost. To feel like just a spec in the rat race . . . but working towards what? Working towards having a man like Trump as our president? No, I don’t think so. We may from afar seem like a bunch of tiny specs, but we each have a voice, and together that voice is as loud as can be. And with social media, it’s amplified even louder. There are people listening. And it can be only one or two people. But that’s enough to make a difference. And thinking about this makes me reflect on someone like our former president Obama. A man I have respected his entire two terms. A man of pure kindness, understanding and forward looking compassion. He is all encompassing, multi cultural and relatable, and in his words we were able to hear and see and feel parts of ourselves in him. And we still do. Because we believed in him and what he stood for. And he truly stood for us, each individual of this country and beyond. He is a reminder that we are not all just specs. We are specs that have a voice. And that voice is our strength, and its power is bigger than any president elect. However big or small our voices are individually, there is always the potential to reach and touch someone . . . to make a change here and there. Every little change, every little bit of understanding, matters. And in times like these, we have to hold onto this fact. 

So I am here to make a promise to myself to try to make a difference by taking notice of my actions. The words I speak. The sentences I write. The way I exchange a smile in passing. The interest I show in new people I meet. The time I take to notice how my body really feels more often than not. How I show my unconditional love for my family and friends. The way I stop to lend a hand or ear or shoulder to lean on. It may be hard to think we can inject passion and love and energy into every little thing we do, but with just a change of mindset it’s actually much easier than you think. And even if it starts with one small change, that’s okay, too. This new year is white as snow, Trump or no Trump, and it can turn into anything we want to make it as long as we know that we have a voice. And even when you think you aren’t being heard, know that that is never reason enough to give up.

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Skittles

January 19, 2017

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Vintage wool coat
Vintage cashmere sweater
Frame denim jeans
AGL leather boots
Sonix sunglasses
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Been working all week like a mad woman, so keeping I’m this one short, and colorful, until I’m recharged again. Yesterday, Nat and I shot all day with the Bobeau team for their fall look book featuring their B Collection. Our friend Vu was photographer, and the day was seamless and energetic. What an amazing day to spend a Wednesday in Los Angeles. One that ended with drinks and food at our hotel with new friends. Now I’m lying in bed at the Ace Hotel in Downton Los Angeles, thinking about the upcoming weekend back in NYC. Just a few more shoots with Nat today and tomorrow, and we can call it a week! Being productive is such a motivator for me I’ve realized. What else motivates me? Color, of course. This vintage coat was passed onto me from my mother. It’s like a dose of sugar. Skittles to be exact. I never knew that I could taste the rainbow in the form of a wool coat before. Now I know I can. Happy Thursday lovelies. Hope you all cross some important things off your list this week, as well, and enjoy the weekend to come. 

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Girl on a Rainy Day

January 17, 2017


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H&M wool sweater
Vintage dress (worn underneath)
Vintage leather belt
Hat Attack cap
Ouigal boots
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I love any reason that brings me home. Even when I’m tired to the bone, I can’t help but light up knowing that I have a plane ride to catch back to my sunny Southern California. Well, the days have been more gloomy and rainy than anything else lately, but I don’t mind. Either way, I slip into a special routine here; one that involves much more reading and writing and watching of films. The hours spread out farther and farther apart from each other so that self reflection and building up of the imagination can’t help but be inevitable. I’m happy during simple, easy going days like these. It’s like the year I turned 16, and I dedicated my days to the reading of books. I’d spend hours lying in the hammock in the backyard of our home, with no other care in the world except to escape reality for a little while into the whirlwind plot of the novel resting against my legs.

In this moment, I wish that I could freeze in time those rainy, lazy days that I experienced during my holiday break last month. I wish I could let them linger until I get antsy to get back to regular programming again. California feels different went it rains and you start to forget what tone of blue that the sky usually is. The palm trees look cleaner and almost sparkling against the grey backdrop. Out of place in an interesting way that makes you look twice. Paces slow down to something that can be described as beautifully melancholy, and everyone prefers to take on the life of a homebody. California on a rainy day makes me nostalgic. And it makes me more emotional, that’s for sure. Over stupid little things even. Missing my boyfriend seems a bit more tough sometimes. Figuring out a plan for my life as I near 30, a bit too intimidating. All these thoughts and feelings, spilling over inside of me, like the rain drops that gather in hidden nooks. It seems there’s more and more reasons to cry about things, both happy or sad. And being the extroverted introvert that I am, I am constantly being pulled between spilling my heart out to everyone I call a best friend and keeping all my secrets to myself . . . that is, until I am able to fully explain my thoughts out in words. Pen to paper (or fingertips to computer screen) is how I’ve always felt that I expressed myself the best. But when I was younger, I always wished the opposite . .  that I could be the one kid in class who had the nerve to be the first to raise her hand in class and answer all the questions. Instead, I preferred to keep all my answers in a notebook for my teacher to read later. But as I get older, I take pride in the fact that I can write. Not that I’m really any that great at it. If I was, maybe I would have written a novel or two by now. No, I take pride in embracing what comes most natural to me. To stand up for it and not keep it hidden, no matter what the judgment of others is. 

Thank you rainy California days for giving me the comforts of home, and slowing me down so I can keep a rhythm with my words in tune with the sound of the raindrops that are so unexpected out of your skies. You are keeping this girl in her vintage dress and nubby sweater as sane as one can be in the midst of a January that seems to be slipping away far too fast. 

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Hey Little Sister

January 16, 2017

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Carolina K dresses
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My baby sister, Natalie. I feel lucky I get to travel with her. Even though we argue, annoy each other and pick on each other from time to time, I know that we laugh, love and support each other more than anything else. At the end of the day I know that I can’t do without her. My little babe. 

I remember back when we were little girls, I hated when our mom would dress us up in the same outfits. I was a child desperate for her independence, and that went all the way down to the color of my shoe ties. Flash forward to the present day, and here we are, Natalie and I, wearing the same Carolina K dress in different colors, but purposefully. Oh man can things change over time. It goes to show that maturity really is a thing that can fully come to fruition. I’m sure mama is proud 🙂 

Love you Nat Nat 🙂 Photos taken in Carmel, California one peaceful morning. xx

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