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Cliffside

January 13, 2017


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Carolina K kimono dress
AG Jeans waxed skinny jeans
By Far boots
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These past week has just flown by like no other! I’m surprised that I’m still in one piece at this point! My late nights catching up on work turned into mornings far too quickly. Maybe it’s the jet lag, but come one . . . the difference between Los Angeles and NYC isn’t thaaaaaat much. I came back from a lazy west coast life without a chance to ease into the NYC grind once again, and the deadlines are overwhelming me just a bit. The days just don’t seem long enough. And it’s only been a week, and already I feel like I need a vacation. But then again I’m heading back to Los Angeles for most of next week for work, and well, the coordinating of my life has been quite hectic. I’m always trying to fuel my creativity, read things and watch things and do things that make me feel inspired so I can keep creating the type of content that inspires others, see my friends, talk to my family back home . . . and then all of a sudden, I stop and think woah, it’s past midnight. The relaxed vibes one supposedly gets after a visit from Cali went straight out the window as soon as I landed back in NYC. Not too hard to imagine for those who live in this city and understand its pace. My to-do list for this year (not to mention this month) is insane, and I’m working on editing it down to something at least semi-reasonable. So it makes me start to ponder all sorts of different things . . . sometimes jumping out a window (just kidding), or jumping off this cliff featured in these photos (kidding once again), just curling up into a black hole over the weekend and not returning the calls of any of my friends, or just giving into my frustrations and giving up (but no, I would actually never do that).

So here’s the question I know we all are asking. How do we keep our cool when work seems to never end? This question in particular is a very hard one for a blogger to answer because for us, work and real life overlap a ton. It’s inescapable, that feeling of 24/7 being on duty. In a way, for us, life itself is the focus of our work. Or at least the creating of a perspective of life, if that makes more sense. Sometimes I ask myself, where should the line be drawn? But it’s hard sometimes to even draw a line because I enjoy what I do so much. Taking photos of things in my own personal life; I feel the need to share them with others because of the beautiful feeling they give me. Sharing my outfits on the internet started as a hobby to help me feel more inspired with the way I dress. Although it is now a job that I fully support myself with, in a way it still it feels like a hobby. But when things start piling up, and every detail is overanalyzed, everything has the potential to feel a bit too much like work. And that’s when the magic is lost. I want to share things that I am passionate about and that will inspire others. But at the same time, there come opportunities where it feels more like a business deal, and being organic can be a struggle. But that just means being more creative. I’ve come to learn that there are some sacrifices one must make to support a business. Now I see it as less of a struggle, and more of a challenge. It’s hard striking a balance, that’s for sure. Some days I wish social media was totally on my back burner, and then there are some days I can go go go, post post post. Energies fluctuate, and especially so with those who share things online. It’s because what we do can be so personal. And I think that that exactly is the answer to the question. To know where to draw the line when the division between digital and IRL become too blurry. To stand back to gain a little more perspective on the bigger picture of the life that isn’t always in front of the lens. 

Let this post serve as a reminder to focus on what is right there in front of you as much as I can, even when the digital screen can be a tempting distraction. The last thing you want is your life to turn into Episode 1, Season 3 of Black Mirror (watch it on Netflix, it’s super relatable to today’s digital age world!!!). I felt it paralleled so much of reality, especially for someone like me. As a blogger, it’s hard to not let things like numbers, likes, comments, and comparisons affect me. I fall into the gimic of it every once in a while. It’s inevitable. It doesn’t always make me feel like the best person, and so I place my focus elsewhere. Onto things and people who made me get into this from the get go. I have found that the best way for me to express myself  most truly on this digital space is to live things fully in the real world. To give you all something more than just a pretty picture. To tell better, heartfelt stories. And that is my goal for 2017, to get better at telling stories that you want to listen to. My boyfriend actually is inspiring me to do that. Let’s see how that goes . . . 


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Stop Dragon My Heart Around

January 6, 2017

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Suburban Riot jacket
525 America
 sweater
Kenzo pants
Vintage purse
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“Stop Dragon My Heart Around.” True that. As one who is approaching her 30’s (cringe!!!), this creative twist on a saying hits home hard. I’m haven’t gotten my dirty thirty juuuust yet, but I can say that I have in fact survived my 20’s. And let me tell you, that ride through one’s twenties (I’m sure many of you have already found this out), is far from smooth sailing. Being in your twenties is supposed to be a whole lot of your heart being dragged around, and my jacket is fully putting it out there that I no longer want or need those experiences. The best thing about maturing as an adult, is finding where to cut the crap. Getting rid of the insignificant fat (and that goes for the diet, too). Saying bye bye to the stuff that always looked down on you when you already felt small. 

Those bumps. Those bad boyfriends. The back stabbing friends. The frustrating bosses and the horrifying co-workers born to make your life feel below miserable. The apartment that never stops leaking. And the roommate who never gives you space. The endless feeling of being lost and insignificant and unrooted and just never, ever good enough. We can officially throw these things and these emotions all into the armful of things that come with the twenties territory. But these things. These people. Those unconfident thoughts that eat away at us. They all take a back bone to really, truly be pushed away. And that’s what our twenties are for. For feeling hurt. For feeling screwed. For feeling like the last kid chosen at a stupid game of ball. And then getting back up again knowing that we don’t need to take any of that anymore, as long as we believe in that and stand for that. Yes, most likely the same falls can and will be repeated more than once, twice, three times, but that’s okay. We’re cushiony. We bounce back. The scabs look a bit icky, but they just make us tougher. And what I finally realized, as I approached my later twenties . . . the one thing that got me so exhausted and tired . . . was the fact that all I wanted was to stop being dragged around. By people who thought they knew me but actually didn’t. By people who sought to judge too quick. By people who don’t understand or try to understand how a two-sided friendship works. By people who never tried to really dig beneath the surface. By men who kept me hanging and diminished my self worth. By people and things that felt empty. By my own thoughts that caused me to second guessed myself. Those moments are always the worst. Being one’s own enemy can at times be the easiest thing to do as a twenty year old. That I see very clear right now. And it took time to learn to do exactly the opposite. 

The best thing that I realized in my late twenties, was that it is impossible to make everybody happy. And that no one else can determine your happiness. And that when I stopped trying to only please others all the time, I felt a weight off my shoulder. I felt less dragged around. Instead, I felt more confident and aware. And my heart felt safer and smarter, and in need of being surrounded by those who were genuine. Here’s to 2017. And here’s to getting older. Here’s to no longer being dragged (dragonned) around. And here’s to finally just starting to get the hang of this thing called life. 

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Flash Velvet

December 13, 2016

max-mara-velvet-4

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Max Mara velvet top
Free People bra
B Collection by Bobeau palazzo pants
Miista boots
Jay Nicole Jewelry lace choker
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Hello from my bedroom nook. In the wintertime, this space is my safe heaven. More often than not nowadays, the lights are turned off with just my desk lamp lit and candles glowing all around. Or I’m working from my vintage chair pretending with my feet propped up, taking in the heat from the heater right next to me. This environment helps me feel inspired. I can sit at my desk for hours, typing out endless lists of things I want to do and accomplish and write about. Places I want to see. Music I want to listen to more. Feelings I want to express that need a little more motivation. Leonard Cohen is on repeat because it reminds me of my boyfriend, and looking deeper at the lyrics make me feel really good, just like he does. And sometimes when I sit at my desk, and all these ideas and feelings run through me, I have the urge to get up and go out and just DO SOMETHING. Throwing all the over analyzations out of the window. To jump at the first idea and let it take me someplace new. TO THINK LESS. TO DO MORE. It’s a feeling of spontaneity that I sometimes feel like I don’t take advantage of as often as I should. To maybe pay more attention to my restlessness when it comes and let my feet guide me blindfolded. Literally, gone with the wind. To write down a word, and bring that word to life in any way that I can as soon as it hits the paper. Right in this moment without over thinking. To jump on an airplane and forget about the yesterday and not think too much about the tomorrow. To figure it out when I get to where I get to, wherever that place may be. How free does that feel? To be like the girls in the pictures that I tape up on my wall that inspire my inner whimsies that take place outside of my bedroom nook. To live like the cover of a Beatles album, somewhat like a kaleidoscope life that is always changing. Always moving. Never exactly the same in any various second. Maybe this is my goal for 2017. To be more spontaneous. To think less. To do more. To never second guess the act of taking a chance on a whim. To be every color there is all in one second. To go and do it in a flash before anything changes my mind. Because why the heck not?!

Shop more Miista boots I love:

max-mara-velvet-5

max-mara-velvet-9

max-mara-velvet-10

max-mara-velvet-6

max-mara-velvet-2

max-mara-velvet-11

max-mara-velvet-12

max-mara-velvet-7

max-mara-velvet-8

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Bringing Elegance to 2017

December 5, 2016

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Jocelyn jacket
Scotch & Soda dress // SHOP HERE
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2017 is right around the corner. A few blog posts ago I talked about learning how to embrace changes and fear them less. To talk openly about them more and how they affect the paths we take in the future. But more importantly, how we view the present. Changes occur on the daily; tiny little changes over time that maybe in a year we only start to take notice. Some occur over years of development and self exploration. And even then, we still can’t completely figured out the process of it. Just seeing the physical and mental changes I have gone through in the lifespan of this blog is a perfect example of that. Just the other day I was thinking about how someone described my style and mannerisms as elegant. Funny, because I’ve always been kind of a klutz ever since I was a kid, despite being a dancer. I would never use the word elegant to describe myself. But there I was, with someone who thought that I was exactly that. Funny to think about how the perspective of ourselves change as soon as we hear the perspective of others. And it got me thinking, maybe I have been growing into that sort of a human being . . . one that is slightly verging on elegant. And I didn’t even realize it until now.

So here I am, in a dress that I probably wouldn’t have worn 4 years ago if someone tried to shove it down my throat. And a jacket that is fluffier than ever. A kind of fluffiness that I normally stray from. I never considered myself the overly girlish, princess type. I don’t care about tea parties. I’d rather drink a beer. And I normally have runs in my tights. Usually not on purpose. But today, the runs in my tights are scarce. For some reason, the adult part of me knows its smart to have more than one pair, and I pay more for my tights now. And I quite like the chic modesty of this dress and how it makes me feel put together even when I’m feeling borderline chaotic. The feathered jacket? A very impractical item of clothing that serves no purpose other than existing as a delicious indulgence (similar to that of eating an second slice of chocolate cake). But impractical as it is, it suits my state of mind right now. It makes me feel like a woman. It makes me feel sassy. It makes me feel like the life of the party. And I don’t even have to be at a party at all. I could be hanging at home butt naked with only this jacket on, and it would make me feel sexy and unconquerable AF. I don’t know how or why these feelings came about, they just did. It’s a normal part of growing up I assume.

 A lot has changed since the beginning of this blog. Fashionable and unfashionable phases. Things that I hated at some point in time may have found me at a later time where it felt right to love them. And I know that somethings that I love now I won’t feel the same way about later on down the rode. This may or may not be. As each year turns over into a new one, surprises and changes are inevitable. And we won’t know until they happen, and maybe we won’t know until far, far after the fact. But the point is that whenever we do finally realize them, we must hold onto them knowing that they are a part of life. They make us what we are, and what we are is ever changing. It’s a scary thing to think that we are each so capable of turning over new leaves at the snap of our fingers, leaving things and places and people behind without knowing exactly the road ahead, and taking chances without expectations. If you think about, these parts of life, as much as they seem like road bumps (they are for sure), they are also very bold and powerful maneuvers. They are something we cannot help but give into when life throws us curveballs. Curveballs are the greatest tests of our strengths, and the changes we go through are just reflections of those strengths.

So this 2017, don’t go against the current of change. Let them come and run through you. That will give you all the more reason to party it up in the new year.

More great Scotch & Soda party pieces I love:

jocelyn-party-jacket-6

jocelyn-party-jacket-5

jocelyn-party-jacket-1

jocelyn-party-jacket-7

jocelyn-party-jacket-3

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